100 Reasons (Unfinished)

Below are 100 reasons that I want to lose weight.

Some are healthy, some are whimsical, and some are impractical, but they are my reasons and I'm sticking to them.

1. To end, or at least lessen, my headaches and depression.
2. To be able to wear the clothes I've always wanted to.
3. To be comfortable in my own skin.
4. To run a mile in less than 10 minutes. (I know that's a very large amount of time, but, as of 5 years ago, I 'ran' a mile in 16 minutes or so.)
5. To bike all the way to the store without having to rest halfway through.
6. To feel confident enough to date.
7. To regulate my blood pressure and cholesterol within healthy limits.
8. To be unashamed when I visit a doctor.
9. To stop getting a stitch in my side when I do anything related to running, walking, or jogging.
10. To hike the entire Appalacian Trail.
11. To go out clubbing and not care who's watching me dance.
12. To lose the dangerous belly fat.
13. To have well-defined muscles.
14. To not get odd looks when I say that I like to bike and kayak.
15. To go swimming without being body shy.
16. To feel comfortable enough to walk into a gym.
17. To feel okay when someone takes my picture.
18. To feel confident like I did when I was a little kid.
19. To act and sing - in front of other people!
20. To push the plate away while it still has food on it.
21. To not feel hungry all the time.
22. To be at a healthy weight for the first time in more than 10 years.
23. To inspire my younger sister to be healthier.
24. To go shirtless without shame.
25. To not feel obligated to clean my plate, then someone else's as well, just because I'm the fat guy and I'll eat anything.
26. To play 5 expert songs on DDR consecutively.
27. To help my joints, which seem like they're 20 years older than the rest of my body.
28. Improved posture.
29. To stop getting sick all of the time.
30. To look good in my favorite jacket.
31. To feel comfortable naked.
32. To go white water rafting.
33. To wear tight clothing and look good in it.
34. To stop my parents from worrying about my health.
35. To ease the start of my medical transition.
36. To be happier.
37. More energy.
38. I hate my double chin.
39. Come to think of it, I hate my stomach as well.
40. And my thighs.
41. To lift my own weight.
42. To comfortably fit onto amusement park rides, airplane seats, and auditorum seating.
43. To fit into clothes without an X in them.
44. To climb the rock wall at my university.
45. To shock the friends I only see once a year.
46. To live into old age.
47. To be able to zip my boots all the way up.
48. To not feel like a cliche.
49. To get the tattoos I want without feeling self conscious.
50. To lose the flab under my arms.
51. To play around with my parents' dogs, because they need the companionship and I need the exercise.
52. To not be obese.
53. For Michael.
54. To look good in leather.
55. I want to help my father remodel the house.
56. 
    

Somehow I'm down to 281.6. Haven't cut soda out of my diet as much as I'd like to, because my aunt bought me a case of my favorite soda.

Sorry about the lack of posts, but I haven't been keeping track of my food intake and so I have no idea how I managed to lose weight, especially over the Thanksgiving celebrations. But no matter. I have started making more things from scratch, so that likely has something to do with it. Also the stress of finals is upon us, so that'll burn quite a few calories I'm sure.

Haven't had a binging episode recently, although in response to the comments on my previous entry, I do know most of my triggers, which I might as well list here.

Binging triggers:

1. Stress/ anxiety
2. Salt
3. School
4. Family
5. ...

Well, I'd though that there were more, but that seems to be all that I can think of at the moment.


And so we are now at an impasse. I do want to tell you all more about myself, but I am reluctant to do so, because sad as it is, I don't want to lose the few readers that I have. Ah well, I have other blogs for that.

My scale keeps saying 285.

Since it's never lied to me before, I guess I'll just have to accept the fact that I weigh 285 lbs now. I don't really want to acknowledge it, but ignoring it will only hurt me in the end.

I can believe that I weigh 285. My frame was not built to carry quite so much weight and lately the joints in my legs have been aching whenever I walk for more than 5 minutes at a time. I feel like an old man. I'm 19 for chrissakes! Supposedly in the prime of life (at least that's what my uncle tells me) and my father could easily put me to shame. The man doesn't watch his diet, eats whatever he likes, but he never goes overboard like I do, and he's active. I don't know why I don't have his drive for fitness, unless it's the fact that he did a stint in the Marines and I haven't - and never will. I got my voice and my artistic talent from him, but no love of fitness. The only sports I like are tennis (too unfit), kayaking (too cold now), swimming (too cold again, and I won't swim in front of other people), and hiking.... I can't come up with any excuses for not hiking. So perhaps I should start doing that every weekend instead of sitting on my bum in front of my laptop or TV. I think I will, there are a few places nearby that I can hike at.

I also need to start watching my diet again. I'll do well for a day or so, then BAM!!! Off the rails and eating myself sick, which I always ALWAYS regret. I'm going to stop drinking so much soda, and try to eat more vegetables and fruit.

On the exercise front, my TotalGym is buried underneath some boxes of winter clothing that I hauled out of storage and haven't put away yet. I should remedy that...

Restart in 5...4...3...2..

Well if we're going to restart this, we might as well do it up right. That means no more holding back on my part. I'm going to put all of myself out there, not hide anything from you few people who read my blog. And if it turns you away then so be it. This isn't a popularity contest, it's about me being happy and healthy for the first time since I was six. So you'll learn some dearly held secrets and maybe I'll be able to hold myself more accountable if I 'fess up about the driving factor behind my current attempts at weight loss.

Update

Terribly sorry for the lack of updates. A lot of stuff has been going on, but it's mostly due to the fact that my laptop expired in late September, and was only recently fixed. I lost everything on it because it had to be reformatted, but at least I'm online again.

As for the diet side of things....... it didn't go so well while I was offline. I think I gained back all the weight I've lost and then some. I basically had a relapse of the binge eating that has plagued me for a few years.

Look for a more thorough update and a restart sometime later this week.