Standing Up

I'm sorry for the long absence. I hit a rough spot and everything sort of went downhill from there. But, hey, if you fall down seven times, stand up eight. So that's where we are now. I'm about to weigh myself for the first time in over a month. I've been avoiding the scale because I'm afraid of it. But I am going to do this, I deserve to know so that I can face up to the fact that yes, my weight really is a serious problem. So here we go...

Weight: 295 lbs.

I'm kind of in shock. I'm definitely disgusted. That's the most I've weighed, ever. When the numbers came up on the screen I didn't believe it. I hate the fact that I let myself fall this far. I need to lose more than 100 lbs now. I'm afraid that I can't do it. After all, I've been dieting since I was 11 and it's never lasted before. But I'm going to get out of that slump. I can't stand weighing this much and being this unhealthy. I can't even bike a quarter mile before my EIA (exercise induced asthma) starts acting up. That's shameful.

I got this idea from another blog. Unfortunately, I can't remember which.

I am afraid to be thin because…

1. I use food to avoid my feelings.

2. I’ve never been thin in my entire life.

3. I use my weight to avoid socializing.

4. Being fat is comfortable.

I've also started participating in the Rite Weight Plan, which is a free online program from Rite Aid.




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